Prose

I already loved writing fiction, but what I learned about freedoms in style, form and even content enriched my passion, my addiction.  Without any formal training or education up to this point, I struggled with finding my voice, style and confidence to fake any authority on anything.  Through our exercises and dissection of selected works, I've learned how to find the deep voice and that alone is the most powerful tool I've learned thus far in my writing life.

The “J” Cube Writing Assignment

Father had disappeared almost four years ago.  It was while working on his invention down in the basement.  There was a loud boom sound and a lot of smoke.  I found him two years  later.  It wasn’t where I found him that was the mystery, but when I found him.  And I do mean when.  He’d been working on that contraption for longer than I’ve been alive.  He called it his first baby.  Crazy old coot.  Well, crazy, genius old coot I guess.  After fiddling with it for over a year, I got it to work.  It took me where he had gone -er I’m sorry, when he had gone.  You see it is a time machine and he was home, just fiddling with it thirty five years ago.  Mom was still alive, but she didn’t recognize me.  He was right there when I came through.

“Ruttiger,” he said as he patted me on the shoulder with a soldering iron still in his gloved hand, “what took you so long?”

I helped him get the 1978 version of the machine running.  I say “helped” but it was more of him cannibalizing my digital watch and smart phone for their more advanced components.  I couldn’t stay too mad at him, he’d been stranded there after all.  When we got back, he made a few adjustments and left again to visit times he’d always wanted to see.  I haven’t seen him since.  Hope ‘ol Thaddius isn’t dead.  Attending Pasadena City College, doing IT work from home and pretty much nothing else got boring.  So I started using the time machine to screw around.  Some mildly unethical stuff.  Then one day in my creative writing class I noticed a classmate glancing at me then to his notebook over and over.  He proceeded to show it to the classmates around him and they would respond by looking over at me then laughing.  I used the time machine to see what it was.

He had crudely sketched my likeness as an exaggerated caricature and titled it “Hipster Peter Parker.”   While I appreciate the comparison to a super hero scientist, I loathe hipsters.  He couldn't have known it, but he could have done me no greater injury.  So I set to work observing and researching him to find out how I might return the favor.  “Jonathan May,” how pretentious Jonathans always sound.  His floppy, unkept hair and self indulgent writing, I hated him.  So I devoted my immortal, time traveling life to crushing him.

After months of tracking and studying his past pains, I finally found something.  When he was a boy, a girl named Dorothy he liked made him one of those cheap little bracelets that spelled out his name letter by black letter on little white cubes.  A rival for the girl’s affection tore it from his wrist and pushed him down in front of her.  He tried to pick up the little cubes so she could remake it, but the interloper kicked the “J” cube down a nearby drain.  I found another like it and planted it in the classroom today while everyone was in a large circle for an exercise.  When Professor Ogden found it and announced a writing assignment based on the person who had lost it, it was passed to him.  When he held it, his face was the same as when he was a small boy and it had been lost.  I think I might be going too far.  I’ve been running tests using the time machine and reporting to my past self the results. This one was the first success, but too successful I think.  I’ll have to scrap this and keep looking for another method to exact the comeuppance he deserves.

The List

“Hi hun, I guess your not going to answer huh?  I hope you’re having a good day.  Don’t let Bradley get under your skin again.  

Well then I’ll give you the list:

You know its just a few days away now, and we've been planning this for forever, so we can’t forget anything.  I know I keep saying this but, I still can’t believe I got you to agree to this.  Baby, this is going to change everything for us.  It could mean a new beginning.  No cliche BS! Oh yeah, the list, we can’t forget anything, we have to be prepared for everything.  On your way home tonight, pick up the last few things we need.  I’m reading it, lets see:

Two black ski masks - Should be one sizes fits all.

Zip ties  -The big ones.  The biggest ones they have.

Pick up the prop gun.

What next; no, nope, yup okay;

Two janitorial jumpsuits, one large, one extra small

Leather gloves, same sizes.  Get plain, -er like generic looking ones.  You know?

Four large duffle bags, any color.  Although darker is better

Write this all down, we can’t forget anything.  We need it all to stick to the plan.  And remember, if we aren’t believable, aren’t totally intimidating, it all goes to hell.  And I don’t need to remind you what will happen to all of us if this doesn’t go well.  Right?

Oh!  I’m so excited.  I have so much anxiety, but I’m still so excited!  

This is going to be the best Valentines anniversary night EVER!  

I love you baby!  See you when you get home.  Call me if you have any questions.  Love you, bye!